


I Am Not Broken but Dented

by ayyitsellie



Category: Mad Max Series (Movies), Mad Max: Fury Road
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 20:10:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4113385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayyitsellie/pseuds/ayyitsellie





	I Am Not Broken but Dented

_I am one of the Vuvalini! Of the Many Mothers. My initiate Mother was Katee Comcannon! I am the daughter of Mary Jo Bassa. My clan was swaddle dog. I am one of the Vuvalini. I am. I am one of the Vuvalini…_

_I was stolen from my home and everything I once knew._

_My mother died after the third day and I survived for seven thousand, including ones I can no longer recall._

_I am-- I was an Imperator of the Immortan Joe._

_I did his bidding, his dirty work._

_I took his orders, got him oil and wives, and saw thousands die from his greed and dehydration._

_I did nothing._

_I couldn’t do anything…_

_I killed him._

_I am one of the Vuvalini. I have stolen-- saved his wives. I killed to survive, for them to survive._

_I am one of the Vuvalini as was my mother, and as am I._

_I am one of the Vuvalini._

_Am I?_

 

_Are you, Furiosa?_

A thousand voices all whispered at one time, filling her brain with nothing but their sound.

 

_Yes. I am. I never forgot who I was, no matter what I was forced to do._

_Were you still one of the Vuvalini when you brought us to our deaths? When the Many Mothers became the few? When you lost the Splendid Angharad? When you let the Warboy, Nux, die and never have his hope?_

_I never meant for that to happen. We knew the risks and we took them-- you all took them. I wanted you all to see the new green place; I wanted you all to start again._

_You let us **die.**_

**_You let us die._ ** _We are **dead** because of you and your **failed protection**._

The Keeper of Seeds, the Valkyrie, the Many Mothers who passed on, Splendid, Nux, all flashed before her. Their eyes were hateful and angry, their skin bloodied and torn.

_You will never have your redemption._

A sharp pain ripped through either side of Furiosa’s ribs, filling her with agonizing pain. She gasped, grunted, shouted, and sat up, finding herself in a dark room, drenched in sweat. Her heart beat was fast. She pressed her hand over it and calmed her breathing. Or at least attempted to. Her mind was stuck on the dream she’d had, one she’d seen over and over, one that would not let her rest. She pressed her hand to her side and slowly moved herself from the bed, her body still aching and sore. A single sneeze and it would feel like she would break all over again. So, she moved carefully. She found her way across the room and put on the single torch that lit the room with warmth and light. Her clothing had been placed upon the chair nearest to the torch, cleaned. She put them on, slowly over her bruising and still sore stab wounds. They were nearly healed... nearly. She reached for her prosthetic arm, but remembered there was no longer one to put on. It had been months since she lost it, but she still reached for it. Still longed for it. She’d tried to redesign it, make herself another, but she found nothing was as good as that one. Nothing.

 

She softly sighed and left the room, making her way along the hallway, checking each and every other room; this was her morning ritual. She had to be sure the women were still there, that no one would steal them in the middle of the night. Her heart beat began to pick up as she found none were in their beds, none were in their rooms. Usually she was the one to wake first, get them up, and make sure they were alright. Be their “mother hen”, as Toast lovingly put. But that wasn’t on her mind. Where the girls were was the only thing on her mind. Had someone from the Bullet farm come? Maybe from Gas Town? Had the Warboys from those zones finally come and retaliated against her for killing their “god”? Their leaders? No… no. Things had been nearly peaceful.

 

But no matter how many comforting thoughts she fed herself, the poison that she let more people go seeped in deeper. She was in frenzy as she threw doors open, called for them:

“Cheedo! Dag? Toast!? Capable??” she pressed her hands to her face and tried to calm her frantic breathing. She’d let more people down, she--

 

A hand, gentle and soft, touched her shoulder. She paused and turned, seeing the fire reads hair and caring face of Capable. “We’re alive, Furiosa…” she smiled, slowly removing her hand from her skin. “We figured we’d let you sleep in. You stayed up late on patrol, protecting us, so we would return the favor… in a small way.” she said softly, shifting her weight as Furiosa stared at her. Did she not believe she was real?

 

“Thank you.” Furiosa replied, wiping the sweat off her brow. “Where were you all?” she questioned, following Capable as she gestured to come with her.

 

“We were watering crops, planting the Keeper of the Seeds' seeds. We have many of Joe’s workers up there. They love the air. They love the feel of fresh earth and the taste of clean water.” Capable smiled back at her, her eyes happy… the happiest Furiosa had seen in a long while, possibly ever. She must protect happiness. They entered into the elevator, the slow climb taking them up to their new Green Place. The Dag was there, kneeling down, hands deep in the earth. She smiled as she gently seeded the soil, lightly placed the dirt over the seeds, and allowed another to water them. She looked up and saw Furiosa, walking over to her, hands over her extended belly.

 

“There are children who would love to meet their savior.”

 

“I’m not their savior.” Furiosa replied quickly, shaking her head. “They saved and freed themselves.”

 

“You helped it happen.” Dag saw the expression in Furiosa’s eyes when she had been called _savior_. “You know you’re not Joe…” she walked towards the woman and grabbed her hand with both of her own. “You do not own people for living…” she whispered. Her thumb rubbed the back of Furiosa’s hand. The gesture was full of caring and kindness. Kindness. She must protect that. Furiosa’s eyes looked up into Dag’s and she nodded.

 

“I know I’m not him.” she softly replied, looking down at their hands. “And I have some work of my own to be done… I’ll meet them when I’m done?” Dag nodded and released Furiosa. “And then maybe we can take a drive later. You girls can try driving the new rig.”

 

“You want to do that again? I thought you’d never after Toast nearly flipped us over.”

 

“I never said Toast would be the one driving.” she nodded at the Dag before taking a ride back down the elevator, Capable staying there to help heal and mend. It seemed the ride down was longer as she was alone. It seemed it was longer as she saw flashes of those she’d lost months ago.

 

She even saw one she didn’t lose… but one who left.

 

Before she allowed another single thought on the matter, the elevator jerked to a halt and Furiosa exited. She walked with determination in each step, knowing where she was going and what she was doing. Right before the area of her interest, she saw Toast in between two healed Warboys, both her hands up, a fierce look on her face.

 

“We do NOT fight over water any longer!” she said, her eyes just as strong-minded as her words. The two boys hissed at each other and hurled insults and when one was about to run, Toast turned to meet them. They stopped the moment they saw the moment they saw severe look in her eyes --sheer animalistic ferocity. He halted before her and Toast rose an eyebrow. “If you can’t accept the new rules in place, you cannot stay here. If you need water than go up to the Aqua Room.”

 

“I… I am afraid of height, Lady Toast.” they had their head bowed and eyes to the ground, showing clear submission to her. Toast scoffed and held out her hand to the Warboy.  
  
“Than ask for an escort.” she softly murmured to them, the Warboy looking up at her hand. He looked at it, almost in confusion. “It’s alright. I’ll take you to get water.” toast softly took the Warboy’s hand and lead him in the direction  of the Aqua Room. When she passed by Furiosa, she nodded and gave a small smile, but the ferocity had not left her eyes. She needed to protect that too.

 

 The repairs area had been nearly unused as there had been nearly no need for warring. Things weren’t necessarily peaceful, but typically, they were quiet. Occasionally they had Buzzards or rogue Warboys attacking from the other areas when they went on supply runs. But other than that it was empty. And empty was the way Furiosa liked it on days like today. On days where her mind seemed stretched thin, yet placed with many burdens. On days when she was reminded of those she lost. She went to her specific bench and pulled out her specific book of designs. There were so many pages filled with so many designs of the arms she could create.

  
And at one time, this much time and freedom to create like this would’ve excited her. But times change. She leaned over it, flipping through the pages and deciding which failure she’d start on. Which arm would she break into a thousand pieces today? She stopped on a blueprint, one that seemed simple, and began her work.

 

She didn’t know how long it was until she started hearing the voices again, the ones from her dream. They called to her and told her that she was not what she claimed to be. That she was a monster. A liar. Not a Vuvalini. She ignored it by melding metal and pounding it down to be nearly paper thin. But eventually, the voices overpowered that too. She turned to face them and saw Valkyrie approaching. She was bloodied and pale; hateful and angry. She reached out to Furiosa with a bloodied hand.

 

“Come with me.” it wasn’t her voice, but a thousand stirred into one. “Come with me, Furiosa. There’s a surprise awaiting you.” her hand neared closer and Furiosa leaned further back, turning her head away. “Come. Furiosa.” the hand touched her cheek and the thousands of voices turned into one. “Furiosa…?” Cheedo. She opened her eyes and glanced over, seeing it was in fact Cheedo the Fragile looking at her with that concerned and considerate look she always had. Another thing she needed to protect. “Furiosa, are you alright?” she asked as the woman relaxed and snapped out of whatever trance she’d been in.

 

“Yes...” she lied, smoothly touching Cheedo’s hand with her own. She stayed silent before nodding and taking her hand down.

 

“There’s a surprise for you. It came a while ago, but it took us so long to find you. Dag said you were working… but that was hours ago.”

  
“Hours?” Furiosa asked looking to her right and saw the sun had lowered itself, turning the land to a soft glowing orange. “I must’ve lost track of time working on…” she looked back and saw something that looked nothing like the arm she had drawn up. “Nothing.” Cheedo watched her carefully, eyes observing and watching her, the way Furiosa watched her and the other Wives most of their lives.

 

“There’s a surprise for you,” she spoke up after a few seconds of silence, Furiosa’s eyes focusing on her face. “And… we were all excited to see it, so you should be too…”

 

“I have other things--”

 

“Come, Furiosa.” Cheedo’s hand softly pulled on her own, tugging Furiosa to the exit. She did go, after little persuasion. They walked for a short while before going up to Furiosa’s room once again, the woman hearing laughter from within. She tilted her head and approached slowly.

 

“What is it?” she asked Cheedo. Her response was merely pushing open one of the large doors and stepping in. She followed and saw the Dag, Capable, Cheedo, and Toast all surrounding one person. One man. One-- “Max?” her voice was soft, almost a whisper. He looked up, his eyes meeting hers, and she immediately went to him. She was slow at first, as if he was a stranger, but her pace quickened when he began to walk as well. A hug. Simple. Tight yet gentle. He held her as if she would break but she held him as if he would disappear. It had as much meaning to her as when she found the Many Mothers. She pulled away and stared straight at him.

 

Was this real? Was he? Or was this another dream? She’d had ones like this before, of him coming back. They weren’t real though, yet this one felt authentic.

 

“Are you really here?” she asked, touching his arm as if to check. He nodded and grunted, nothing more or less. But it was enough. It was enough to let her know this was no dream. The other women left, saying their goodbyes to Max, who nodded and gave them the smallest of waves. Furiosa’s eyes never left him. “Why are you back?” he looked down at her and pursed his lips, as if contemplating his answer. He dropped down to one knee and pulled off his backpack, pulling out a hunk of metal.

 

“You lost your arm.” he gestured to her and she glanced over, still feeling naked without her custom prosthetic. “And… ah…” he stood and held the metal in his hands, turning it over multiple times, looking it up and down. He seemed to have a routine of exactly how he looked at it, as if he’d done it a thousand times before this one. “I went back and tried to find your original but it was all but dust. I didn’t know if you’d have a new one by now, but I figured I’d still bring you one.” it wasn’t a random piece of metal. The more she looked, the more Furiosa saw. She saw the straps that could wrap around her torso and the shoulder pad to help irritation. She saw the oiling and the elbow  joint. She saw an arm.

 

“You made this?” she questioned, holding out her hand as he carefully placed it in her own. He looked at the prosthetic, then her, then back down at the prosthetic all before nodding. Furiosa took it and moved it over to better lighting than the one they were in now. It was a fine piece, a few parts she could fix for better functionality, but was fine nonetheless. The fingers were even bladed. She placed it on, like she did her old one, tightened it how she liked, then flexed her new “hand”. She looked at it up and down, held it up into the light. It responded beautifully. She turned to him and nodded, “Thank you.” Max nodded in response and looked as if he wanted to say something. He moved his hand up to his eyes, than pointed to hers.

 

“You’ve been getting sleep?” he asked warily, almost as if he didn’t know how to word the question. After he asked he cleared his throat and placed his hands on his hips. Furiosa felt under her eyes before nodding.

 

“Of course.” she replied, him pressing his lips together and grunting. He stayed silent, but she could feel the disbelief. “We all have our demons to face."

 

“Hm… what would those be?” he looked at her directly, not with curiosity, but with concern. Furiosa stared in response, trying to find something to say, trying to brush the question off like she did with Cheedo, Toast and all the others. She shook her head and opened her mouth to say _nothing._ but found it impossible to lie to him. Impossible to lie to a man who never speaks. Ironic.

 

Furiosa sighed and sat on her bed, gesturing for him to follow. She leaned her elbows onto her knees and placed her head in her hands. “I can’t fix what’s broken…” she looked over at Max who was looking down at his boots. “I keep seeing Angharad and Nux and my people. I keep seeing those who I lead to their deaths.” she rubbed her head, sighed, and ran her fingers through her short hair. “I couldn’t get them home. I thought… today I thought Cheedo was Valkyrie. I saw her coming towards me, as if she was really there.” she rubbed her eyes, as if to clear sleep from them. “They’re in my dreams every night.” her eyes stared at the ground as she remembered their words--

 

_You let us die._

He wanted to tell her, their deaths are not on you, you didn’t let them down, they knew the risks, do no blame yourself. But he didn’t. He stayed silent, stayed by her side and let her talk. She told him of the dream in detail. No colors. No movements. Just words and, occasionally, the faces of those she lost. Oh, how familiar this sounded to Max.

 

He hovered a hand over her back, unsure of whether placing it down would be too awkward, or only make her close up. So, Max watched her as she sat up and looked over at him, pulling his hand back to his side. “How did you fix it?” she asked, turning towards him. “What was broken…” Max was silent for a while, looking at his hands, pondering how to answer. Then he looked at her.

 

“Well, I found you.” was all he merely said. The simplest four words, probably not about her, and yet her load felt lighter.

 

“The girls.” she replied, thinking he meant them. Max grunted and looked at Furiosa’s side. The side he was forced to puncture in order to save her. He looked at the bruising on her face, still there from when she was nearly killed. Even her eye was different, drooped down a bit more from the damage caused. Furiosa saw this, and understood what he meant. She understood exactly what he wanted to protect. She wouldn’t have made it without him and he wouldn’t have survived without her. “Thank you…” she murmured, nodding her head at him. They sat for a while until Furiosa scooted back, rested her head on a pillow. “Do you mind if I sleep?” Max didn’t move, but glanced back at her, over his shoulder. She took his silence as a yes.

 

It was easy for her to fall asleep with him here. It was easy for her to fall asleep after everything she had just realized.

 

It was dark when she woke up, and there was fierce warmth next to her. Was that there when she had fallen asleep? Or did someone place a torch lamp in her room… She opened her eyes and saw Max beside her, lying on his side and facing her way; he looked peaceful almost, not like such a weight was on his back. Furiosa watched him and sat up carefully, remembering her prosthetic arm was on. It had been so long since she actually had one, she’d forgotten to take it off before she fell asleep. She reached back, to her shoulder, to take it off but found nothing was there. Glancing over to her shoulder, she saw that it had been placed on a chair in the corner of the room, carefully draped along it. She looked over at it and got up, and put it on. Sleep was still circling through her system, so she struggled with the straps, but eventually, they were tight and filled her with nostalgia.

 

It felt nice to have this feeling again. Nostalgia. As she looked the robotic hand over, she saw the initials M.R. carved into the thumb. He had a trademark? As she was debating whether or not she liked being branded again and whether or not she should tear the thumb off and put on her own, she saw “property of Furiosa” carved underneath it. She ran her own thumb over it. Wow. How nice it felt to be able to say this was hers, really hers. When she was done with her sentimentality, Furiosa dragged that chair over to the desk in her room, sitting down in it and pulling out the notebook Toast had found her. She wrote down the things she had to protect. Consideration. Kindness. Happiness.Ferocity. She also wrote in, hesitantly, Max. Not that he needed her protection… she just wanted him to stay and never fall to this cruel world. She wrote down other things, like she no longer needed another arm. She wrote she needed to shave her hair, teach the girls to drive a rig or a car-- in the rare case there’ll be an emergency-- and that she should focus on improving the living here more. Not that things hadn’t improved dramatically after Joe’s death. The earth below already seems richer and green, ever since they let the water flow freely. After she was finished scrawling down new ideas, plans, and thoughts on improvements, she glanced back at Max, him now on his stomach, practically cradling the pillow her was meant to be resting his head on.

 

A quiet knock on her door pulled Furiosa’s attention away from the sleeping man. She silently made her way over and pulled it open, large enough so whoever it was could see in. Capable was leaned against the door frame, small smile on her face, looking into the room.

 

“Is he still here?” she inquired, though she could clearly see him back on her bed. Furiosa nodded and tilted her head. “If he wants to we’re having a meal… a real one. We’ve managed to get a few fruits and vegetables so… we’re going to have that. You obviously can come, but we just want you to know that he’s welcome as well. Everyone wants him there…” she pushed away from the open space and nodded as she left Furiosa to tell him. The woman shut the door again and lit up one of the lamps in the room, very carefully, and very slowly. She then went over to wake him up, see if he wanted to have a real meal, but stopped when she saw the tattoo, when she saw the brand-- one exactly like her own. She leaned down and read what they wrote: _O-NEGATIVE HIGH-OCTANE, UNIVERSAL DONOR. ISOLATE PSYCHOTIC. Keep muzzled._ They had him there for his blood, muzzled him like a dog. Furiosa reached down to feel over the permanent markings and scarring, but Max jerked away, rolling over and tightly grabbing her wrist. They watched one another and he slowly released her, an apologetic look on his face.

 

“If you want to come with me, Capable and Toast and all the others have prepared some food.” Furiosa said, Max giving her a confused look as he was still in a sleepy fog. “Real food. Vegetables and fruit.” she added, Max nodding and sitting up, shaking his head and blinking. How long had it been since he’d had a decent sleep, or even slept on a real bed? She went over to the door and watched him. Max made sure he still had all his belongings, checked his gun on his leg, and finally followed her. It was a quiet journey, the two walking through multiple halls and down the stairs carved into the mountain. Many torches had been lit, illuminating their path, making it easier to walk in the dark. It was quiet, peaceful. Serene.

 

The room was lit up well, easy enough for the two to spot. All the women were sitting, along with the younger war boys and a few of the people from down below. They were conversing and laughing, Toast asking one of the Vuvalini about the old world. When Furiosa walked in with mask, one of the older women stood, grabbing Furiosa’s hand, along with Max’s.

 

“It is so good to see you again.” her eyes focused on Max, who nodded and gently touched her hand with his free one. “Come and sit. Capable had told us you were coming.” she pulled out two seats next to each other, and the two sat down. Everyone dug in immediately after that. Furiosa was even ravenous, attacking the vegetables and fruits like she’d never eaten before. Cheedo threw food at Dag who laughed and stared at her before throwing a small amount back, who Toast caught in her mouth, cheering successfully.

 

“How’s your…” Max gestured to the place on his face where Toast was pistol whipped by Joe. She turned her head to show a gnarly scar, Max knitting his eyebrows together.

 

“If the nearly healed scar wasn’t enough, here it is.” she gestured to it and blew air out her lips. “It hurt for a while but now it’s gone… at least I get this kick ass scar out of it.” she smiled as she pulled her legs up onto the chair and rose smiled over at the Dag.

 

“So Furiosa,” Capable called, reaching across the table and touching the woman’s hand. She looked up and rose her eyebrow. “Nux’s tree, the one we planted for him, bloomed today.” Capable’s grin was large and Furiosa gently squeezed her hand. “Would you two care to see it tomorrow morning?” she asked, looking between Max and Furiosa, Max looking up at her. “Are you going to stay a little longer, Max?”  The two glanced out the corners of their eyes at each other.

 

“You absolutely should.” the Dag added, placing her elbows on the table, head in her hands. “It’s been so long, why not?” Furiosa looked at Max, who was considering the question. He looked at Furiosa who waited for him to answer.

 

“Yeah… I can stay a little longer.”

 

“You can come along when Furiosa teaches us how to drive.” Cheedo proclaimed with excitement, Dag smiling over at her.

 

“Maybe not when Toast is driving though, yeah? She might flip the truck again.” Dag snickered over at the woman mentioned, Toast glaring over at her with a small smile.

 

“I am a _great_ , _fantastic_ driver. Furiosa said so… right?” she looked over at her, but when Furiosa opened her mouth to say something she simply shrugged and remained silent, which caused the women to erupt in laughter. Max even smiled. The rest of the night was like that, everyone being able to joke and have a light hearted manner. There was no sadness or darkness in those moments, and Furiosa did not feel plagued with those she’d lost.

 

How long had it been since she’d been able to let go?

 

At the entrance to her room, Max stayed put. “I can sleep out here.” he indicated that he would stay outside the door. Furiosa immediately shook her head and motioned for him to go inside.

 

“No, it’s fine. You can sleep there, I’m going to do patrol anyways.” she reached into the room, just by the door, and pulled out a rifle. Max opened his mouth to speak but when Furiosa did as she said she was going to do, he watched her leave but remained outside her room. She did her rounds, checked each of the girls’ rooms to make sure they were safe. They were. She then simply walked, rifle in hand, cold air on her skin. She took in a breath of the air and sighed. She shivered as she stood, making her wish she’d brought a blanket or a jacket of sorts to combat the coldness. Instead of suffering and standing still, she walked to keep her body temperature up.

 

Her rounds were easy, greeting the other Warboys who were doing the same. When she came to one of the larger connecting bridges, she felt exhaustion wash over her. She set her rifle next to her and leaned against one of the railings, looking out into the black void before her. It wasn’t that long ago when she traveled that, when everything was so different. It felt like a million years. She rubbed her head with her hands and sighed tiredly, shutting her eyes only for a few moments. Maybe it had been longer. But eventually, someone’s hand touched her back and Furiosa jerked awake. They’d draped a blanket over her shoulders and Furiosa looked back to see who it was.

 

“Why don’t you go get some sleep.” Max muttered, Furiosa shaking her head.

 

“I have to finish my rounds.” she sounded worn out, but seemed to immediately woke herself up when she grabbed her rifle. Max blinked at her and pressed his lips together, but nodded.

 

“I’ll join you.” he stated, Furiosa nodding. She wasn’t going to deny his help. They walked together in silence, again. It was nice until a question began to nip at Furiosa. She waited, ignored it, walked some more, but it eventually was the only thing she wanted to ask.

 

“Why did you come back?” she asked him, rather suddenly. Max looked over at her and stopped walking.

 

 

“I uh… I wanted to make sure everything was okay.” he nodded as he said it, almost as if saying that was a good enough answer. Furiosa looked at her rifle and nodded. “I wanted to be sure you were okay.”

 

“Why?” she looked up from her rifle, directly into his eyes which were focused strongly on her.

 

“You lost a lot of people.” he shifted his weight and put his hands on his hips, almost as if trying to find a good way to say whatever he was about to. “I lost everyone. I’ve been through what you’ve been through. I know the burden it can bear. Maybe you don’t bear it but… I wanted to make sure you weren’t slipping.”

 

“Slipping?”

 

“You saw me when we met.”

 

Furiosa nodded, looked down at her rifle, than back at him. “We should go get some rest.” she began the trek back to her room, Max beside her the entire time. When they got back, Max remained outside her room while Furiosa set her rifle down, took her prosthetic arm off, and laid down on her bed. “Whenever you want, Max, you can come in here.” she said, practically whispered. She hadn’t fallen asleep immediately, but just before she did, she felt a body next hers, lay down gently, as if the bed would shatter. She rolled over to look at him and placed one of her hands over his own. “Don’t ever leave me.” she was tired, and therefore the words slipped out, but she fell asleep before she could change anything.


End file.
